Blueberry and Cream Cheese Swirl Bread

I love blueberries in baked goods. I love breakfast breads. I love cheesecake. This bread is all of those things. It's not hard, either, and you could make it without the lemon extract if you didn't have some on hand. But the lemon is so, so good with the blueberries and cream cheese.

Blueberry and Cream Cheese Swirl Bread 
8 ounces softened cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 tbsp flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp lemon extract
1 egg
--
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup milk
2 cups fresh blueberries, washed then tossed with a bit of flour

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Grease and flour a standard-size loaf pan. Rub the inside of the pan with Crisco until it's all lightly greasy, then sprinkle some flour in the pan. Rotate it while beating on the sides until the whole thing is very lightly coated in flour. They make a spray now that supposedly does the same thing in one step, but I am distrustful of such efficiency.

2. Beat the cream cheese, sugar, flour, salt, and lemon extract together until smooth. Add the egg and beat for two minutes until light and creamy. Transfer to a different bowl and set aside. Clean out your mixing bowl and set the whole mixer up again for the blueberry batter.

3. Beat the melted butter, sugar, salt, and vanilla extract together until creamy. Add the eggs, one at a time, and mix until thoroughly combined. Scrape down sides. Add the baking powder and half of the flour and mix until combined. Add the rest of the flour and mix again. Remove from mixer and scrape down sides.

4. Gently stir in the floured blueberries. Apparently, flouring them first prevents them from sinking to the bottom, so don't skip that step, kids.

5. Scoop half of the blueberry mixture into the loaf pan and smooth into more or less flat layer. It's a thick batter, so you really can't pour it. Top that half with all of the cream cheese mixture. Spread the remaining blueberry batter on top.

6. I wish I could explain the next step better in words, but it's not hard, and it won't be a huge big deal if you mess it up. Take a butter knife and make a corkscrew motion through the bread, from edge to center all the way down the length of the loaf. Make another such corkscrew line from the center to the opposite edge, again moving lengthwise.

7. Bake for.bloody.ever. Seriously, it felt like this took the longest time. I think I cooked it for an hour and a half, all told. Start with an hour and check one of the cracks that will form on top with a toothpick. Mine seriously takes 90 minutes, and I check it at 10 minute intervals after the one hour mark. Because seriously. There's no excuse for that kind of lollygagging, blueberry bread.

Tomato-Basil Tart

This is one of my most popular dishes, and it is pretty excellent if I do say so myself. I don't even like tomatoes, but this and the tomato-carrot-kale marinara are my go-tos when Alabama tomatoes are in season. Alabama tomatoes are as spectacular as tomatoes get.


This will make two normal-sized tarts. I guess they're 10 inches? I dunno.

Savory Crust
2 1/2 cups flour
2 egg yolks (save those whites)
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup cold salted butter, cubed (that's a stick and a half)
6 tbsp cold water

1. Cube the butter. You can also freeze it then grate it, but I'm actually quite lazy and ill-prepared, so I just cut it up straight out of the refrigerator.

2. Stir flour and salt together in mixing bowl and cut in the butter using a pastry cutter.

3. Add water and egg yolks and mix together. I use a combination of the pastry cutter and my hands.

4. Separate into two balls and wrap in cellophane. Refrigerate for at least an hour.

5. When you're ready to bake the tarts (or whatever you're making--this crust is great for any quiche or tart or meat pie you want to make), roll out on a floured surface and shape for your pan. Place it in the button and flatten out, making sure to cover the sides of the pan too.


Tomato-Basil Tarts
8 ounces of fontina cheese, cubed
8 ounces mascarpone cheese
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup milk
2 egg whites (from crust)
1 cup basil leaves, chopped
assorted tomatoes

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Place the cheeses and salt in microwave-safe bowl to melt. Start with a minute, then stir. Microwave at 30-second intervals following that, and do not despair if the cheese kind looks like it has separated. It won't look smooth for the first few go-rounds, but it will eventually come together. Don't rush it, though.

2. Once the cheese is all melted, add the milk. Wait for the cheese mixture to cool slightly, then beat in the eggs. Stir in the basil.

3. Slice the tomatoes! I use a mixture of red, yellow, purple, orange, cherry, grape, roma, whatever. The different sizes and colors make the tarts pretty. (Again, I don't love tomatoes. There may well be flavor differences, but...don't know, don't care.) I try to leave them a bit thick, definitely no thinner than 1/4-inch.

4. Pour half of the cheese mixture into each dough-filled tart pan and arrange the tomatoes slices on top in a single layer. Lightly salt and pepper the top of each tart and place in the oven.

5. I wish I could tell you how long to cook these. I don't leave the kitchen while they're cooking, so I'm guessing between 30 and 45 minutes. The tops where the cheese is exposed should be a little golden brown and the liquid in the tomatoes should be bubbling. The crust around the edges should look done, too.  I'm kind of the worst at this. I hope you already know how to cook, because I do a lot of this by sight and intuition.

6. Once the tarts are done, I glaze them with a honey-balsamic sauce. I use about a quarter of a cup of white balsamic vinegar and melt a tablespoon of honey in then brush or drizzle over the tops of the tarts.

Buttermilk Biscuits

Man, do I love a good biscuit. I love the simplicity and the versatility. They're just...they're honest. They're an honest food, biscuits are, but a truly great biscuit recipe eluded me for far too long. This recipe and (more importantly!) this method is the result of fifteen years of experimentation. No joke.


Buttermilk Biscuits

2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
2 tbsp salted butter
2 tbsp shortening
1 cup buttermilk

1. Preheat over to 450 degrees.

2. Start with the dry ingredients. Mix them together. In a bowl.

3. Make sure the butter is very cold and cut it into small pieces. Sprinkle the bits of butter into the bowl and add the shortening. Using a pastry cutter. like this one, combine the butter and shortening with the flour mixture until everything is more of less evenly blended. People say it's supposed to look like corn meal, but they're wrong. There should be visible but small pieces of butter still. They'll melt when you bake them, which will make the biscuits more light and flaky. Once everything is blended to your satisfaction, add the cold buttermilk. I generally mix it in with the pastry blender because using your hands will melt the butter and using another utensil just seems silly, but you know, you do you.

4. Liberally sprinkle a large cutting board with flour and scoop your biscuit dough on to the middle. It will be pretty wet and sticky and lumpy, but don't fret. Sprinkle the top with more flour, and don't be stingy. You're about to use your hands to pat this dough out, and you'll want it to be pretty well covered in flour so it doesn't turn cling to your skin so much. Pat the dough out a little bit and fold it over on to itself. Pat it out again, then fold it over again. Your dough should be much smoother now, and more like a bread dough in consistency. You may need to keep sprinkling it with flour, but it really should be less sticky by now. Pat the dough out, pretty thin, and fold it over on itself four times. (Does that make sense? Do you know what I mean?) Pat it out again and fold it over itself again, three or four times.

5. Trust me. All that patting and folding has a point. You are creating layers in the dough that will make for extra flaky, extra delicious biscuits. But you're done with that now. You can just pat them out once more, to about 1/2-inch to 3/4-inch thick and cut them out with a cookie cutter. I use one that's about 2 1/2-inches wide. Push the cutter straight down and lift it straight up. Don't twist it. Something about sealing of the sides and preventing them from rising. I don't know why it makes a difference, but it does. Straight up and down.

6. Put cut biscuits on a baking sheet, a couple inches apart. Bake for 10 minutes or until they look like biscuits you want to eat.

Creamy Pumpkin Pasta Salad

I think fresh pumpkins can be intimidating, but they are so much better and cheaper than the canned puree when they're in season. The real deal doesn't have the metallic, sour, or bitter taste that you sometimes get from the canned stuff, and it has a lot more texture. I have it on good authority that this dish can convert even the staunchest opponents of all things pumpkin, at least for the space of a meal, and it looks enough like macaroni and cheese to trick my picky kid into trying a bite or seven.

The most difficult part of this side dish is preparing the pumpkins, and that's more of a hassle than a challenge. I strongly recommend peeling the dang things first (just a vegetable peeler will get the job done), then halving them, then scooping out the guts, then cubing them. You don't want to try peeling empty pumpkin halves. They have approximately zero structural integrity.

Creamy Pumpkin Pasta
4 tbsp butter
1 large onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
2 small pie pumpkins, peeled, gutted, and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1 1/2 cup chicken stock
1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup parsley, coarsely chopped
12 oz orecchiette
1 lb bacon, chopped and cooked until crispy
1/2 cup parmesan, grated

1. Melt butter over medium heat in a 4-qt saucepan and add onions and garlic. Cook until the onions are translucent, maybe 10 minutes? I don't know how long. Just stir 'em and use your eyeballs. Add pumpkin cubes, salt, nutmeg, and red pepper flakes and sauté for five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add chicken stock, cover, and simmer for another 10 minutes. The pumpkin cubes will start falling apart at this point, and that's perfect. They're supposed to. Don't panic.

2. While the pumpkin mixture is simmering, start the pasta. I use orecchiette because I'm just so fancy, and I like that they're named after ears, and who doesn't like to eat foods that are shaped like body parts anyway? But you can use any kind of non-stringy noodle: penne, macaroni, corkscrew, shells, whatever. Follow the instructions on the package, but do make sure you salt the water. I heard once that pasta water should taste like the Mediterranean. Just go with it. I cooked mine for about 15 minutes, drained it thoroughly while rinsing it with hot water (which helps the noodles remain separate), and put it in a large-ish serving bowl.

3. Once the pumpkin is done simmering, stir in the milk and parsley. Let it cook a while longer while you prepare the bacon. I use my kitchen scissors to make cutting the bacon less of a pain, but you do you. Once it's all in little pieces, cook it (in a separate pan--NOT with the pumpkin stuff) until it is nice and crispy then drain away the fat. Make sure you turn off all of your burners at this point. Please. Thank you.

4. Bring the bowl of plain pasta next to the pot o' pumpkin. Using a slotted spoon, scoop the mixture over the cooked pasta. You will leave some of the most liquid-y liquid in the pot, and that's okay. (You can save the liquid for a secondary meal if you're into efficiency or whatever. The broth will have tiny bits of pumpkin and parsley, and it makes a light and tasty soup with some crusty bread.) Stir the pumpkin and pasta together and add the cooked bacon and grated parmesan.

You can garnish with more parsley if you'd like. Or you can just eat it.